Lent 2023: Week 5

The Sunday night adrenaline crash… 

It’s a common experience for those of us in church leadership to experience a serious dip in our emotional state following our regular Sunday services. We have planned carefully, crafting sermons, praying for people who are struggling, making sure all the practical arrangements are in place. 

We give our all on the day, pushing through the awkward moment when the powerpoint doesn’t work and being patient when Gladys offers her tuba skills to the worship group. Then it’s time to stack the chairs, pack up the PA, sweep the floor, lock up, remember that you forget to turn off the heating, open up again, and eventually all is done and you can go home. Time to relax as you sit on the sofa and take a deep breath.

Into your mind comes the events of the day. Questions emerge.
Was anyone really listening to my talk? I didn’t speak as well as I can do.
What was wrong with Paul? He looked terrible but told me he was fine.
Why were three of our regular families not there? One family haven’t been for weeks now, have they left?
You recall a conversation where someone was bringing a complaint.
Did I handle it well? I don’t think I did.
Then the doubts creep in and the thoughts become accusations:
You’re not good enough.
You can’t do this.
It’s all going to fall apart.
You’re not really living out what you’re preaching.
You’ve put all this work in but it’s just not working.  

Over the years I have spoken to so many church leaders who have regularly had these experiences. The more tired you are, the more common they can be.

There are three levels to dealing with this. Firstly, to remember that it is a normal bodily reaction to the adrenaline high of the Sunday experience that you have worked hard to organise. Try to counteract it by doing things that give you life – perhaps arranging to spend time with a friend who gives you life, or doing some exercise (running home from church used to help me a lot), or reading a novel. 

Secondly, to remember this is partly a spiritual battle. The Bible makes it clear there is an enemy who is opposed to the works of God and comes to ‘steal, kill and destroy’ (John 10:10). This is why it is so important to have people covering us in prayer. I always recommend that everyone has a group of friends who are committed to praying for you. A group you can text or WhatsApp in difficult times and you know they will respond with not just a praying emoji, but actually pray for you! 

Finally and most crucially, there is the question of identity. Recently at an Emmanuel Theological College residential, we had the privilege of spending a weekend with Bob and Mary Hopkins, bringing their vast experience to help us think through how we create a releasing and equipping culture in our churches. In one session they challenged us to consider two passages from the Bible. One was a statement by Jesus at the end of a parable in Luke 17: ‘So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say. “We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.”’ (Luke 17:10). The other was the famous passage from the first epistle of John: ‘See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!’ (1 John 3:1)

As we reflected on these two passages, we were invited to consider our identity. Are we primarily children of God, or unworthy servants? And if we know the ‘correct’ answer, a more penetrating question would be ‘most of the time, do you act and feel more like a beloved child of God, or an unworthy servant?’ This is crucial to longevity in Christian life and ministry. So many Christian leaders live most of their lives acting as unworthy servants, finding their identity primarily in their acts of service, and never feeling quite good enough, their emotions rising and falling depending on the apparent success of their ministry. 

There is no doubt that following Jesus is a call to serving others. The way of Jesus is the way of the towel, as he demonstrated in his actions in John 13, washing the feet of the disciples who had previously debated which one of them was the greatest! (Luke 9:46). The one who came ‘not to be served, but to serve’ invites us into his ministry of service. The life of serving others is the family business that each Christian joins when they commit to Christ. 

But if servanthood is the family business, it is crucial to distinguish our role as servants from our identity as beloved children of God. Because Christian ministry is never done, our acts of service are never complete. There are new issues every day, fresh challenges, hard work undone by thoughtless behaviour. It can often feel like we are not good enough. The danger is that instead of us serving others because we (and they) are beloved children of God, we switch round and begin with service. We try to find our worth and identity in our role as servants. And because the work is never done, we set ourselves on a path to exhaustion and burnout, constantly feeling unworthy and not good enough.

During Lent, in fasting, prayer and giving, we give up certain things (food, time, money) in order to turn to other things – dependence on God, reading the Bible, showing generosity to others. As we follow Jesus in acts of service during this time, let our fasting, prayer and giving remind us that our primary identity is beloved children of God.

‘Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God’

John 1:13

If servanthood is the family business,
it is crucial to distinguish our role as servants
from our identity as beloved children of God.

Published 29 March 2023